I did 14 years in a public school system that pigeonholed me into the “remedial” track and I hated myself the whole time. When I got to high school, I decided to fix my situation and try for harder classes to to get myself away from the bullies and better prepare myself for the type of college I actually wanted to spend my time at. In short, I was first gaslighted into thinking I didn’t want or deserve them, but when I pushed back, I was simply stonewalled. At one point, I thought if I couldn’t negotiate into the regular classes, I could test into the honors. I took several placement tests and I was told, but not shown that I did not pass them and I would remain in the remedial classes.

Recently, I tried using something I though could be a loophole to get my diploma voided. I never actually took an art or foreign language which are requirements where I am. My school system refused, but when reviewing my records, the guidance counselor slipped up and mentioned that I had passed the honors placement tests. They refused to acknowledge that it was wrong to place me in remedial classes if I tested into honors.

“So just take community college.”

After so so many years of being held to a lower standard, I couldn’t do it anymore. Doing two years at a CC, then transferring wouldn’t get me into the college I felt was worth the effort and even if it did, I would have poor foundational knowledge. I could probably pass the tests, but I wouldn’t be finding any new solutions to anything I thought was actually important. And I have tried CC a few times. One time I tested out of the class I was going to use as a trial, so I never ended up going. Another time, among other things, I overheard the teacher in the hallway denigrating her students. It was a very early class and with my work schedule, it was easier for me to come in even earlier and check my email then. She didn’t realize I was quietly sitting in the classroom while she shittalked in the hallway.

So apparently, there’s no rules or mechanism in place stopping someone from retaking a class they already passed. After high school forbidding me from doing that and every four year college I looked at explicitly saying that if you take two years at a CC, you’re forbidden from applying as a freshmen, I had assumed that certain classes were off limits to transfers. No one ever corrected me.

The only reason I found out was because a friend recommended I talk to his friend that worked in admissions of a good college and he gave me the benefit of the doubt on my motivation and goals. I still had to insist on certain parts of the discussion to get that info.

If I had known my high school hated me enough to lie about my test results, I would have transferred to a different high school.

If I had known that you could redo college classes at will, I would have done that 20 years ago.

I almost started this fall, but I missed the cutoff date because of a new sort of hell though. There’s a state program that lets to earn a HS diploma with certain CC classes. I’m technically not eligible for the program, but I can still use the classes to rebuilt my foundation. No body knew what I was talking about and I got passed around 4 departments about 6 times before ending up 10 feet from where I started. I’d say it was kafkaesque, but maybe the movie Brazil is closer. Maybe I’ll try for a winter session class before the spring sessions start.